It is well. With my soul. Do you know why? Because even in my suffering my Father has not turned His face away from me. When Jesus was on the cross, dying there for my sin, His Father turned His face away. And Jesus went to Calvary knowing full well that God would do that. It was part of the plan of salvation to bring many sons to glory. Because God longs to have His children with Him, His own creation, He had to turn His face away from Jesus, who became sin, so that we might have eternal life with Him in heaven. This realization hit me fully the other day. God will not turn His face away from me. Ever. His own Son, when He was suffering the greatest, suffered even more when His Father turned His face away. I could not imagine that. I think I would cease to exist if I knew God could turn His face from me. I guess the part that got me, was realizing that in identifying with Jesus in the fellowship of suffering, I have an assurance that is very tangible. My God will never leave me or forsake me - Hebrews 13:5. He will not turn His back on me, walk away from me or leave me alone. He will always be with me. And even more than that, I am face-to-face with Him.
How can I make such a statement? Well, because the veil has been torn. Remember the story in Exodus where Moses asks God to:
"Now show me Your glory!" Exodus 33:18
At this time in history no one could see the face of God and live. So, God put Moses in a cleft of a rock and then passed by. What is amazing in this story is that God DID show Moses His glory. He did not dismiss Moses's demand. God Himself provided the cleft, He provided the way for Moses to see the glory of God. This Moses, who had seen God on the Mount, who had interacted with Him before, was now going a step further. And God met Him there. I believe God does the same for us. Because He is the same yesterday, today and forever, Hebrews 13:8. He longs to show us His glory. He longs to be in relationship with us. In our every day life and especially in our suffering. God knows all about suffering. His own Son suffered, willingly. Do I suffer willingly? No, not always. But I can admit there are actually times when I am at total peace with this affliction. I would like to say that I am at peace all the time. But that would not be honest. I am getting there.
So getting back to the concept of face-to-face. When you look into the eyes of someone you get to know them more.
You can see right through them, so to speak. I love to look into the eyes of John. I know those eyes. I have studied them for a long time. I like to look at them when we are talking. I know guys do better with shoulder to shoulder talk, but I still like to talk facing my husband. The same goes for my children. I know their eyes. Each set. We are in a sea of brown over here. Every one of us has brown - except my girls. Theirs do change depending on the mood. But I would not know that unless I knew them before. I have to take the time. Well, God takes the time. He studies me. And I can study Him. I can read, meditate, study, memorize His Word. And in that I can "see" God. Because the veil has been torn, I have complete and full access to God, face-to-face. I can come boldly to the throne of grace, Hebrews 4:16. It's like I have the right to interrupt a conference meeting at any time. John says that I trump any meeting he has at his office. I have yet to try it, but he assures me that I get to have his full attention if I need it....hey, maybe I should try it sometime soon.
Now, knowing that God does not ever turn His face away, knowing that I can study and know God's face, knowing that I can march right into the throne room and have God's complete attention, I can rest assured that He is there in all His glory waiting for me. Really and truly.
